A.S.S Quote:

Al Sharpton vs Joe Lieberman: Two men fighting against race, religion, and common sense

6/4/03

(this article contains some racist comments, if you are stupid enough to be offended by these jokes, please go kill yourself)

Well, here I am again, to terrorize the good people of the Internet with another article. This article is about the next election for the presidency, which will take place..........ah who cares when it happens. It's something to write about. Before I really start this wonderful editorial, I decided I'm gonna start listing two facts about myself. This was made famous by Matt Hardy, better known as Jeff Hardy's brother.

     -TwiLighT hates when cute lil animals die, but thinks it's funny when it happens to people like Lisa Lopez.

     -TwiLighT thinks anyone dumb enough to not move when they see a stool flying towards them deserves to get knocked the hell out.

Now that that's out of the way, may the article begin..........
     As I mentioned in a previous article, Al Sharpton will be running for president in a few years. Now I recently found out our current president, Big Dubya, might not run for president again. Meaning our next president, could very well be this man......

"Yo, thiz here iz mah nigga, Lysol"

Well, have no fear! Luckily we have another candidate to run against the evil black baron, known as Al "I shoot whitey for fun" Sharpton. This man who has stepped forth to save mankind is none other than America's hero.....

"I'll Swallow Your Soul!"

Oh Gods no!! Not Joe Lieberman!!!! Anyone but him!!!! This is the man that will save us!!?? Great, in one corner we got a black panther, and in another corner we have Al Gore's bitch. And so there you have it, either way we get screwed. Well, my job is not to criticize, my job is to get the hard facts on this battle. For weeks I've been trying to contact these guys, and I finally did. The following is my online interview with Al Sharpton.

AlexNFG182: thanx 4 giving me this time Mr. Sharpton
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL: just make is quick, I gotta hit up KFC in a little while
AlexNFG182: I will, I just wanted 2 ask u sum stuff about yer run 4 the presidency
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL: well, what does yo' cracka ass wanna know?
AlexNFG182: what do u plan on offering Americans if u win the election?
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL:   i definitely plan on giving the black community way more hand outs than they already have
AlexNFG182: i thought the goal wuz equality, how come u only wanna help blacks?
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL:   cuz whitey's been holding me back for so long, with all that slavery shit!
AlexNFG182: but that wuz like 200 years ago, and u weren't even born in that time
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL:   yeah, but it felt like yesterday. and so what if i wuzn't actually a slave, i'm black so i should get sympathy!
AlexNFG182: maybe we should change the subject, yer just starting 2 get involved in politics now, how'd this path come 2 u?
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL: well i got so far in my old job, and being in the public's eye, i had 2 go 2 that politics shizznat
AlexNFG182: that's true, u were always in the public's eye, even with yer old job. Hey wait a second, what the hell wuz yer old job???
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL: TV appearances. all i had 2 do wuz make some subliminal raciest comments, and everyone wanted 2 talk 2 me.
AlexNFG182: wow u suck
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL: shut up u raciest honky!
AlexNFG182: u know, Martin Luther King achieved equality without being an asshole, like u!
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL:   *covers ears and sings* la la la la la
AlexNFG182: stoopid shmuck-bag
BLACKisBEAUTIFUL:   fuckin cracker

At this point I felt some hostility from Mr. Sharpton. I kept my composer, but that STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!! Seemed mad at me. Anywho, I knew my quest was not over, I had to get in touch with Joe Lieberman. The guy who thinks M rated video games should be outlawed, violent TV shows are the devil's work, and made a name for himself by doing to Al Gore what Monica did for Bill.

"I am NOT a crook!!!! I am simply a pervert who cheats on his wife and drugs Al Gore so he doesn't act up during speeches"

I was not able to get in touch with Joe Lieberman. So I decided I'll simply list cons and pros about Mr. Lieberman being president.

Cons

-Joe Lieberman wants to pull violent video games off the shelves. If he's scared of the zombies in Resident Evil, imagine him going up against this guy.....

"Hit me baby, one more time!"

-Joe Lieberman is jewish. Meaning a lot of people will hate him for crucifying this man..........

"Who crucified me? but ya punks didn't finish, now you 'bout to feel the wrath of a menace, nigga I condemn thee!"

-Joe Lieberman is Al Gore's bitch, and Al Gore is Bill Clinton's bitch. Joe Lieberman came from a long line of bitches. By the way, ever wonder what Al Gore started doing after he lost the last election?

I think this picture speaks for itself.
*stares at picture*
My God I'm glad he's not our president.

well, now that we're done with the cons, let's see the pros.

Pros

-It's either him or Al Sharpton. Looks like we're right back where we started

"Niggaz be pertendin they hardcore!"

I should probably say more positive stuff about Joe Lieberman.............nah

Well, I hope this lil article helped you get a better idea of the 2004 candidates. If your black, vote for Sharpton, if your white, your fucked one way or another.
I'm sorry about the couple of raciest comments, but hey, what do you aspect from a web site run by a bunch of wops and spics?
Anywho, that's all I have to say, until my next ramble, thanx for reading my article and good bye to all you A.S.S.-holes out there.

This Article Has Been Brought To You by.....
Darkness Inc.

- Alex (Twilight)