Pennywise: Evil Clown or Patriotic American?

Now, Pennywise the Clown is not really a clown at all. He just choose to take the form of a clown, a creature in which no child likes. Why you say? Because he does not want to get bothered by people. But, to explain it for the lappers, he is actually a force. Not like the Star Wars Force, but far greater. He is "everything you ever where afraid of". He is your fear, your phobias, your excitement (like when you wet the bed), and any unpleasant emotion that can be produced by the human body. The reason why he comes as a clown is because Fear=Clowns. It is a know fact. But you cant blame him, its just what he is. Now how he got a bad name is not his fault. What he did to Georgi was only what he deserved. He had it coming... The truth is, Georgi whose real name is Georgi Montana, was a miniature sized Cuban Drug Dealer working for Fiedel Castro. Georgi was smuggling crates full of llello across the US border line. Pennywise, being the great American Citizen that he is tried to compromise with Georgi and it ended up in a bloody mess. Georgi had taken things to person when Pennywise asked him if he liked men or dressing up in women's clothing. Being forced to take action once Georgi got violent, Pennywise had to pull Georgi into the sewer so he could hold him until the police arrived.

What happened afterward had nothing to do with this Real American Pennywise. Lets just say the cops took Georgi to the next level, and believe me it involved some Vaseline and a plunger. Anyway, Pennywise cannot be blamed. Now another situation I should clear his name from was the issue at the library. In the library scene in the movie, Pennywise is found in the library supporting his "reading is fun" campaign across America when suddenly a tall man with a blonde mullet comes in and disturbs the peace. Now Pennywise isn't gonna let some guy just walk in and stop his campaign. Little did he know this guy was an Arabic Terrorist looking to size up any American who disagreed with him. Pennywise, being the patriot he is, defended his people and tried to get rid of him.

Here he is seconds away from stopping the Arab terrorist. However, he was not in luck when the man shot, two very important men in the library just happening to get an education at the time...

Fat Albert and Adam Sandler. That's right. But Pennywise was able to take care of the whole situation and when the cops came, they took things into there own hands. Let's just say it involved some hand lotion and butt plug. And finally the biggest situation I feel I need to clear up is the restaurant situation.  Pennywise wasn't even there at the time. Ok, look at the situation. Seven people go to a Chinese Restaurant named "Tang F*ck". 

They argue about how the Chinese restaurant has bad service and how the people's eyes look funny and then then complain and BLAME an innocent patriotic American Citizen for there meals...

How can you go and blame this clown you ask? Well what you didn't know about these seven people is that they are actually Germans, Nazi Germans, who plan on taking over the world by starting with a Chinese Restaurant. Just to let you know this Patriot Pennywise hates Nazis, so he hates these people, simple logic. However the REAL person to blame is this man, the one who makes the fortune cookies, the one who put the little duck, the eye, and the cockroach in them, Ti Mi Shu...

Well, that is the TRUE Story of Pennywise. I wanted to clear up all the mishaps and to inform you that Ti Mi Shu was later arrested for trying to persuade a minor to entering his 1965 Chevy. Police say he got what he deserved, and let me tell you this, it involved baby oil, and a rocket launcher. But Pennywise, a real American Hero, a Patriot, A Citizen, A Political Leader, someday...

Well that about finishes my explanation on Pennywise, The Real American. In a While Crocodile!, And HOW!!