A.S.S Quote:

Wrestlemania X8: The True Cure For Cancer

6/1/03

Well here I am again in my Powerpoint Class, bored out of my mind. So I decided well I might as well make my time useful as I sit here getting closer to shitting myself at all the excitement around here. (NOTE: I was being sarcastic) So I'm writing yet another piece of literary crap I call an article. Why am I writing it? Does anyone even read what I write? My guess in no but hey it's a great way to set up that fake idea that I am smart or something. Oh well. Onto today's article...

Last night as I was playing Wrestlemania X8 with my brother I had a realization. WMX8 seems to follow the path of real life. Yesterday as we had matches, I was playing as HHH and my brother was playing as Ric Flair. Well it seemed that even in the gaming universe HHH holds people down. I admit now that I am not the best at WMX8 but it seemed that even the difference between a video game and real life do not apply to all powerful HHH. It was then that I realized that when HHH calls himself the game he wasn't kidding. He is the game in the WWE, the game in WMX8, and im pretty sure he's the game elsewhere.

OR
Not even video game characters escape HHH's wrath.

Now you are probably wondering if my article is all about HHH. Well did you read the title? See this is one place where HHH won't have an hour and half promo's followed by a half hour match where he loses the whole match and wins in the end with a pedigree or sledgehammer shot. No, the A.S.S. is not under his wrath. This article is dedicated to the game that has kept me and the rest of the Alliance busy and from having to succumb to our sour spoils of our boring lives. I'm talking about the game that is entertaining in so many ways. The game that has revolutionized the way we feel about video games. I'm talking about Mickey's Magical Mirror.

Errr...I mean WMX8...

Looking at it almost wants to make me shed tears of joy...

Ah, there it is. Well, if many of you haven't played it, I insist you must. In fact I demand you must. If you have any brain what-so-ever you must indeed get this game. Then after you have been down the road on WMX8 bliss, will you be able to partake in such great experiences as screaming "I scouted that!" or "GAY" or even "Ric Flair is the van man. He forgot how to kick out!"

WHOOO!!! IM THE VAN MAN....WAIT...WHERE AM I?

This game is like drugs to the Alliance. If were bored, we play Wrestlemania. If we want to have a good time, we play Wrestlemania. If were horny, we get laid by some hot old hookers...

Those are some hot pieces of ass...

AND THEN WE PLAY WRESTLEMANIA! There is no denying how this game has changed our lives. However, to fully grasp the notion, we must first look at the reasons why it might of changed our lives. What differentiated this game from others. First, this game is in my opinion the best one to showcase a superbly awesome engine. The way the game plays is just astounding. I must truly thank the engineers at THQ for making the reversing (or "Scouting" as we like to refer to it) the best I have ever seen. It's simply impeccable. If someone throws a punch, tap R. If they try to grapple, tap L. If they try a finisher, tap both L and R. If they try to give you candy you can tap hidden Y button and get them put in jail on child molestation charges.

You don't really believe she...err I mean he did it, Do you?

It's just great and during our hours of playing we've certainly wondered if other people out there have shared the fun and excitement we have had while playing with this game. So I begun my quest for others like us. This search soon lead me to an AOL chat, titled Wrestling2. Wrestling2? With a title like that, surely there must be someone in there with the same passion for the great game...or so I thought.

OnlineHost: *** You are in "Wrestling2". ***
Enforcer: hey all, I was wondering if anyone in here likes the game Wrestlemania X8
Crackababy23: Wrestlemania X8? that game suxz
SuperFly64: Yea that game blows more than ur mom Enforcer, u f@g
Crackababy23: yea enfurcer ur a fukkin fagf
Enforcer: I'm sorry you think so. I was just wondering if you ever had the enjoyment of playing that game. I believe it's simply great.
SuperFly64: Umm ur mad gay dude that game really is gay for you to say such a game was good is really gay
Crackababy23: yea ur a gay homo
Crackababy23: get the fuk outta gere queer
SuperFly64: you want a good game, dont play that gay wmx8 play Smackdown 4 That game fukkin rules man
Enforcer: Actually I have played that game and although the CAW may be superb the actual engine is really tired out and lacks the effiency of WMX8.
OnlineHost: MRBIGSPINNER has entered the room.
SuperFly64: effiency? WTF?!? UR A FAG ENFORCER GET THE FUK OUTTA HERE WIT UR wRESTLIMAINA 18 GAYNESS SMACKDOWN 5 IS THE SHIT AND UR JUST MAD GAY

It was at this time that I realized that I wasn't going to find my search for a WMX8 community in there. So I searched again and my search ended in complete sadness. It seemed that although their were sites about the game, their were very little that totally recaptured how great it was. It was a moment of utter sadness that I realized not even the Amazing Fruit Dancing Gummi Bears were going to make alleviate me from my sadness.

Their happy and their dancing...AMAZING!!!
(credit X-Entertainment)

So I leave you all with this. If you do happen to play Wrestlemania X8, and love it as much as we do. Drop me an email and tell me your story. Until then, Goodbye and may Wrestlemania X9 be in your prayers for a game that will top the best of all, WMX8.

"And God said unto the chicken, "thou shalt cross the road", and he did, and there was much rejoicing."

ENFORCER

- Nef (Enforcer)