The article of nothing-ness

5/18/03

Hola my fellow friends. I am back again with yet another article. I know you have all been so anxious for my article but wait no longer because here it is for all of you to enjoy. What's the topic this time? Well, actually I don't even really know myself. I was hoping I could just improvise my way through the whole thing. I figure that maybe eventually when you get to the end of this article you'll see a purpose and this might even prevent some of you from doing something to ruin your life, like watching "The Color Purple."

I sorry masta, I no mean to eat your children.

So I guess I'll start off with some random information that you yourself might not know about me.

Enforcer's Fast Facts

Enforcer wrestles for the Backyard Wrestling fed, BSW or Backyard Survival Wrestling for the lapers.
Enforcer is a Counter-Strike junky always playing under the name NuKz.
Enforcer ~~does not~~ DOES send money every week to the poor Ethiopian kids to prevent their bellies from filling up with air so their stomach's don't pop like dark colored balloons.

Please send money so this family can eat 3 year old pig slop.
Enforcer doesn't support the war and doesn't protest it. Basically Enforcer doesn't give a shit!
Enforcer hates new revolution of sucky "The" bands. e.g.: The White Stripes, The Used, The Strokes, The Hives, The Vines, The Anal Ticklers.

So those are some fast facts, about me. I hope through that you learned something about me, that was so riveting that it might make you want to take nude pictures of yourself waxing a dead cow.

Now onto my views of current wrestling. Right now I think the WWE is currently infected by CLIQUE-O-MANIA. That means that right now we are going to be forced to watch the infiltration of HHH, Kevin Nash and the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels. However, if they were normal wrestlers we would see them for a little bit of Raw and then on with the show, but were talking about the three most selfish men in the world right after a hungry Al Roker.

Excerpt from Page 203: "Roast Kitten till nice and brown"

That means that we are forced to watch an endless array of main events involving the Clique. What can we do about it?

-Join the wrestling industry ourselves?
Wouldn't work because of the large number of competing individuals for a WWE contract we would never make it past careers in our backyards.

-Become good friends with the Clique to be part of their TV time?
That would fail too because even if you were close with the Clique, they would probably use you like they use everyone else. Chances are you would end up getting Kevin Nash a soda, praying with Shawn Michaels or sucking HHH's dick.

-Kill triple H?
Although this might sound like a good plan at first, Triple H has so much pull in the business that he would still hold down people from his grave.

-Since Stephanie is taken, F**k Shane?
Hey now there's a plan. Let's see to get to the top you have to have sex with the bosses offspring. The Billion Dollar Princess is already taken by HHH, so move onto his son, Shane O' Mac. It might be gay, but how hard are you willing to work and how much are you willing to sacrifice to get to the top of the business. After you do it you could be saying "Here Comes the Money" too.

Those are your choices. You choose as you seem fit.

Next, I want to talk about what had been pissing me off for the past couple of weeks. Before I tell you the problem. Let me fill you in on some of it's history. First I had Verizon DSL. It was good till one day it decided to be a prick and not connect. It didn't connect for some time after that resulting in me having to call Verizon for them to fix the problem. Well, they were giving me more trouble than when you try to pry Scott Steiner from a bottle of steroids.

----->
Before Steroids After Steroids

So I decided to cancel my Verizon account and move to Optimum Online. It seemed promising. I got my modem within days. However to my dismay it wasn't connecting. So I called Customer Service and they said they would send someone. That was a month ago. Well today a technician came and dreams of finally having a broadband connection again danced in my head. I was finally going to be able to play Counter-Strike and resume my normal life, or so I thought. The technician tries out the connection and finds out that their is a problem with the connection outside and I need to call someone else to fix the problem. DAMN YOU OPTIMUM ONLINE!!! So yes, as of yet I haven't been able to go on a fast connection having to resort to :::Shudders::: Dial-up...Geez it's so slow and annoying. If it were lazy, it would be an exact replica of Kevin Nash.

Me move? HA HA! Not going to happen

So yes, that was the problem annoying me as of lately. Why I ask God? Why must he plague me with the Clique and Dial-up. I mean that combination is worse than having to watch Mae Young give birth to a hand and that was no pretty site.

So what was the point of this article? I have no idea, and I'm pretty sure you don't either. However, don't worry because the time you spent reading this article could of been better spent doing something more important like snipping your pubes or washing your fish. Oh well...

"Sometimes I move my massive bulk over to the window so I can look at the ducks in the pond outside and laugh at them for having to move around. Stupid ducks. Don't they know that there's an internet?"

ENFORCER

- Nef (Enforcer)