Raw sucks and then you die!

I'm talking about his horrid creation 3 Minute Warning. 3 Minute Warning is a very suiting name for the team because when their about to come out you only have three minutes to change the channel of suffer the consequences of viewing the two tubs of brown lard wearing bootleg Rikishi-wear and screwing up spots. If I wanted to see that I'd watch a Mark Henry match. 

Next is the ex-porn star, Val Venis. OOPS, I mean Chief Sean Morely. Chief? What the hell is up with that? Since when does Raw need a chief. It's not a band of friggin Indians...

or 

even the main character in Halo...

I mean come on. Even if he was supposed to change his name to get rid of the Val Venis gimmick which I think is ten times better than the "chief" gimmick) he could at least change his info on his page. I mean look at his page, and you will see that it says his favorite quote is "Hello Ladies"? Well I don't know about me but if I was supposed to be a clean cut guy my favorite quote wouldn't be "Hello Ladies" and my finishing move wouldn't still be known as "The Money Shot". I mean where is the realism in this? Where is the common sense? I'll tell you where. It's where everything ends up. In Linda Miles large vacuum like crevice. How do I know? Amelia Earhart told me that's where she lives now. Not to mention how she also said that it constantly reeks of horse penis in there but that's another time and another article.

Next on my Raw Hit list, is Brock Lesnar's illegitimate twin brother. I'm talking about the supposed Genetic Revolution, Batista. Batista is too too similar to Smackdown's prime champion, Brock Lesnar. However Batista in my opinion will not make it because he doesn't have something that Brock does have. 

His face on a Smackdown game, which automatically classifies him as good. 

Next onto a man who ruined his career with one little thing, A HAIRCUT. Yes, I'm talking about the "supposed heartbreak kid" Shawn Michaels. Well he was known as the heartbreak kid when his age limit didn't parallel that of Ric Flair. I mean come on. He's may still think he can wrestle but he can't. His talent went out a long time ago like his charisma. He has now degraded himself to the likes of having a haircut like Hillary Clinton and the personality of Richard Simmons. 

+ makes...

Not to mention his now infamous "Jesus Saves" t-shirt. Well too bad he doesn't realize that Jesus may save souls, but he doesn't save the fact the Shawn Michaels is old and over the hill and that his haircut is blatantly homosexual.

Now onto the Texan, who still thinks he can make it in singles. I'm talking about Bradshaw. I don't know if Faaroq told him, but Faarooq retired therefore stating that Bradshaw must stop wrestling. Why must he stop wrestling? Well because of the fact that he cannot exist in wrestling without Faaroq. He cannot make it. It's like having cereal without milk. I mean, not many people know but the Acolytes were really born pretty close.  

See what I meant?

Now onto the man who is involved in not only every storyline but in everything period. I'm talking about the guy who sees young talent as firewood for his career. I mean Triple H. When I say he wants to be in everything I am not exaggerating at all. I mean he has to be in every major storyline and even things not wrestling related. Next thing you know he'll run for president.

He has to be in everything. Who do you think was related to the freeing of the slaves...HHH Tubman...

Who do you think created water? Contrary to belief, not Buckweet, but HHHweet...

And finally whose on the cover of Smackdown 4 right in the center...You guessed it... 

Al Sharpton

However in all seriousness, the world seems to be HHH... 

And there is no way around it. So I bid you all goodbye and stay tuned for the next piece of crap to come from my brain to your eyes.

"Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded"

  ENFORCER